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Sunday, September 14

i've got so many words in my heart.
gna vent out. i advise u not to read.
its disgusting post.

bad day.. v v v bad day.
was dam angry with sbs.
wait lyk fk shit and was late to sch yst.
and tdy same thing. nvm forget it.
came bak, audi-ed with laoda.
and tio gl by sb. shall not mention who.
cried 3 times tdy. wtf im crying mre by th days x.x
idk what to do when mom's bak. iwantedtorunawayihateher.
and thn called fanshu. he call me cab to escape to
pei him celebrate his nuer bdae. z.z i shld had take train.
jurong to pasir ris ay, cost me abt $25 x.x
kinda regret but hais. gna starve for nex 3 days to
save back th money.. yep.
and if anyone could tell, i was in suicide mood yst.
went to bedok with jiejin. thn he alight.
and thn i mi lu after that. im such a dumb.
ye and thn ltr as at bedok taking mrt when i found my way.
lift door open and i saw them.
for a moment i blanked out.
but i managed to smile at nicole.
shes so sunshine.
i went to another side facing th opp way.
i knw i cant bring myself to face them.
and i was thr, still as a statue, trying not to tink of anth.
but i was tinking a whole hell of crap all th way till chi garden stn
well, i shall keep most in my heart.
since whatever i say is wrong.
actually, i decided not to talk anymre.
'cs.. im ALWAYS misunderstood.
for things lyk example, i do 185 cfm,
thn ppl say 'woa perfect smemre'
thn i say 'easy one nah'
actually i meant its easy so i can do,
if its hard i cannot do.
but ppl alwaes tink that, 'so its easy for you lar,
show off'
nvm.. idk how to say.
lyk tdy sb call me audi with him.
and i was lyk, ur fren thr online mah.
actually i was merely questioning why
didnt you play with ur friend, and cme find me.
and i didnt say im unwilling to play with you.
fine. thats that. i dnt wna talk to anyone.
that's how cruel this reality is bah.
when i finally realise, when u truly love,
they take if for granted kinda thing.
as in, im nothing in everyone's eyes.
well all i hope now is i dont lose myself to death god.
i hope im in th right state of mind.
i dnt wna see counsellor.
i dnt wna vent my anger on her.
i dnt wna hurt her.
'cs wadeva i say hurts.
and everyone dnt understand.
no even myself.
who am i, i dnt even knw.
i wna take off this mask that's stucked here so long.
i feel myself so fake.
trying to act as a medium for everth to fit in.
i had enough.
i rly can feel th pain right down to th core inside my heart.
burning sensation.
eyes blurred.
brain dead.
breath still.
th sour feeling tingle in ur heart.
silent screams.
im fading.

signed off at 7:49 am