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you dont even remember,

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Lyrics, it tells all..
Fifteen songs shuffled.

Friday, November 14

this is a venting post. dont read too much into it.

fk. i cried again.
i hate caring for you.
but th way you mean so much.
i dont like it. th way i so-wna-try to make u happy.
jus seems to be so impossible.
how can i help you, i rly dk.
i thought ur would make a great future.
i try v hard not to say anth, i thought u found ur happiness.
but now i dont like th way this happiness turned you now.
idk how to phrase it in words.
if i could, i would have told you long ago.
im sorry for th fate we have.
i mean, its jus tht i dont have what it takes to go with you bah.
to try to understand you.
i mean, to try to be thr. i cant even do tht la x.x
ive got completely no idea what i can do to help you.
and hw much i blame myself for that.
i seriously seriously seriously seriously seriously..
though, hope to get over you since idk hw long ago,
hope i can have a chat with you.
i. hope i can control my emotions better as i grow up.
i hope time assists me in doing that.
so that i can not get influenced so much by whatever actions of you.
ive been feeling uncertain these past year.
bi, im sry.
if i leave u smeday bcos of him lyk what she did, im sry.
i knw im v selfish to keep u so long for these months.
and i believe u knw though tht im not ovr him.
but well, none of us rly dare to face it.
although, i rly hope we can be together as th tym passes.
i can feel ur sincerity.
but after th aftermath 2 years ago.
you knw i rly have got no courage towards relationship.
erm, what to say, i rly dk how to express my feelings right now.
mixed feelings of guilt and pain and so many memories.
hope wang qing shui rly exists.
so i can erase those memories.
im sorry if i hurt you in anyway.
i cant ctrl myself.
whenever i hear ur name or see ur face.
i feel lyk im standing in another world.
you knw, extraordinary, special feeling.
i mean lyk, even dreams sometimes i dream abt you.
on th bus to sch everyday, jus flashbacks here and there as i hear songs.
and thn bus bak to home again.
its lyk you already being part of my thoughts.
and im sry ive developed this habit.
i knw my actions are downright silly to idk what deep core.
but u knw, i rly hate my heart.
i cant ctrl. cant ctrl this, most extraordinary feeling on th world.
you rmb th first date we had at jp?
jus outside th arcade.
i wanted to tell you th 8letters, 3 words.
jus somehow, tongue tied.
each tym i try, idk how to put it across, no avail.
jus lyk how i try to label you as history, no avail, no avail at all.
thought frankly i enjoy it at times, but you knw this sour feeling,
th unspoken words, i still hope i knw how to tell you.
i dont wan how i ended up by brk ups to happen to you you get what i mean.
nvm i feel im crapping also.
gtg, bye.

signed off at 5:59 pm