Besotted over you. (L)!

you dont even remember,

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Thursday, June 25

this is th 2nd time i fell in love.
first time, though 3 wks, i took 3yrs to overcome.
now, i took my courage to take another try.
but, it barely lasted 1 wk, how long will i take to forget?
i rly dnt knw if i haf th courage to love anymore..
though many times i rly wanted to let u go,
i knw its my fault i confessed in th very first place.
if i didnt, all these might not haf happened..
its th first time i confessed to a guy though, hais :l
looks lyk its all my first wrong move tht caused all havoc..

i realise im rly nt gd enuf for you, though u said otherwise.
but, i rly wish someone btr will come along and i can jus
fk off one side and forget about you.
although i understand u might not give me a good life,
i dont need luxury.
but i dont mind, i told you..
im even willing to degrade myself so tht u tink you're worth me.
im willing to smoke or turn into ahlian or do watsoever
that you like me to do.
but after i gave up everyth,
after i chose you so many times,
jus to be with you, jus for that chance,
i was let go..
i knw, i shld respect ur decision.
but dam, why do i keep thinkin of you,
wtf am i doing..
slping on his shoulders but i dream of you.
looking at him but in my eyes i saw you,
everyth i do i jus cant keep you out,
all tht i said, all tht you said.
maybe lyk what u said, its all a dream, wouldnt b true..
maybe lyk what i tink, its all my wishful tinkings, my hallucinations.
but i rly wish one day this dream of mine comes true..
i rly hope to..
maybe when u come out army, find stable income,
think u are worth me le thn come find me?
or i knw by tht time im past tense, im nobody anymre.
but why, you are alr worth me now,
i told you i dnt mind.. im willing to,
i will bear everyth with you, i jus want to be with you.
why is it so hard, why! x/3!!

signed off at 9:26 pm